Why I’m on a constant diet.

Before I had Chloe, I was fairly fit. I was a lifeguard for many years, and had a free membership to the YMCA because I worked there, so I was in pretty good shape. But once I got married and got pregnant, that quickly changed. I went through my pregnancy like any normal mom would (eating 24-7, snacking on chips and candy and carbs, and getting some exercise), and in the end, I hadn’t really gained any personal weight. If I did, it all got nursed off of me within a few weeks. But then I got comfortable… I gained much more weight than I should have, and I didn’t really diet because I was nursing. Now, I didn’t gain a TON of weight, but it was more than I wanted to. So, I decided to get back on track and get back in shape. About a week after I had decided that, I found out I was pregnant again! Of course, now dieting was out of the question, but keeping that weight off certainly was not! So, I worked out daily, ate somewhat healthy, and was able to not gain any personal weight at all. Which puts me to today…

My baby is now 5 months old, and I have been constantly feeling like a cow. I know I haven’t gained any weight, but I haven’t lost any either. So, I decide I’m going to diet and start working out, but then I find a cookie (or two) and decide to start my diet tomorrow. This is why I’m always on a diet…. BECAUSE I CAN NEVER STAY ON IT! It’s really a hard thing! I’m always hungry because I’m nursing a 5 month, 20+ lb, piglet, and I crave carbs and sugar! Why can’t I crave things like salad and fruit? No, it has to be chocolate and doughnuts. So, now you see my dilemma. As far as the working out goes, I’ve been doing yoga, which is freaking AWESOME y’all, but it’s making myself get the stuff set up and do it that’s the problem. The only times I have to really do it is in the afternoon while the kids nap, or at night before bed. Only problem is, when it’s kid’s nap time, that’s my time to get my house in order, and when it’s kid’s bed time, I’m so exhausted from the day, that the last thing I want to do is stick my butt up in the air in downward dog. Another problem with night yoga is that my husband finds me doing yoga very attractive, and it’s worse than trying to fight off flies off of a hunk of rotting meat! So night yoga is basically out unless I want to be attacked like a zebra being pounced on by a wild hyena. It’s basically me making a bunch of excuses for not working out, then feeling lazy because I didn’t work out, and to make myself feel better about not doing my yoga, I stand in the kitchen (in my yoga pants), and eat a cookie (or 2 or 3 or 4), and complain about how fat I am.

It’s a vicious cycle, this dieting thing. You diet, lose a few lbs, eat a cheat to congratulate yourself, then you feel bad for breaking your diet. So, you start again the next day, and the next, and the next. So here’s my advice for you, eat the friggin doughnut, drink that large milkshake, and exercise a little longer the next time. Diets suck, so I’m not even going to tell you why you should get on one.

 

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