I know how easy it is to get caught up in the fast pace of our lives. There’s kids, work, school, family, holidays, and we all have at least one of these. Because of the business of our day to day life, we forget to just sit and ask ourselves “why?”. Why do we do, and think, the things we do?
My brother asked a question today, and it pulled my heart strings to answer it. He asked “what makes you cry? And “what makes you sing (happy, joyful…)?” At first, I wanted to quickly answer that my family is what makes me sing and that being hurt makes me cry, but then I thought more on it, and it was mug deeper than that. What made me hurt? Why did that make me hurt? What about my family made me sing? What specifics? There was so much more in my answer all of a sudden simply because I took it a little deeper.
If we look at how many times a day we answer questions with practiced answers, we would be amazed. When asked “how are you?” Do you answer truthfully? Or do answer with the usual “I’m good, and you?”? I think the reason we give that vague, general answer is because we don’t like to allow ourselves to become vulnerable by answering truthfully, and we have come to believe that people don’t really care. Also, that little answer is quick and closed, meaning it leaves no door open for a relating question. We like quick so that we can go about our business. But what if we answered truthfully about everything we were asked? What if we thought about our answers before we gave them?…
I have been working on giving more detailed answers and not being so distant. You’d be amazed at how open people can be when you answer with “eh I’ve been ok, today, such and such happened, and blah blah blah”, instead of, “im good.”. When you seem engaged and open with someone, they automatically feel more comfortable with you and feel like they can be more open. This is how friendships start!
So in closing, I urge you to give your thoughts, words, and actions more thought. Slow down and enjoy conversation with someone you don’t know. You might actually learn something.
I joined that moms group by going out on a limb and doing something I was uncomfortable with, and now look where I am! Having birthday parties with new friends 🙂