Why I don’t (and won’t) apologize about my children.

Kids can be loud, crazy, obnoxious, bratty, misbehaved, and more. But they can also be sweet, smiley, happy, joyful, beautiful, amazing little humans. It’s not easy being a parent to such emotional roller coasters, but in the end, it’s so worth it.

     I never really grasped the concept of the “terrible twos”, which I even wrote a blog about that topic, until my oldest turned two. Someone flipped on a switch, and the emotions, good and bad, came flooding in with rage. My always sweet little bug turned very unpredictable and mostly frustrated over night. My instinct was to be upset and get onto her, but after a while, I tried to understand that she was only trying to learn how to handle all of these new emotions. She now was frustrated because she wanted to be so independent, but didn’t quite have the physical skills to do things such as getting herself dressed. It wasn’t/ isn’t because she was trying to be bad or was acting out, she was simply frustrated and confused. So, instead of getting mad at her for lashing out, I started trying to give her ways to grasp control of these emotions. I ask her why she’s upset before getting onto her, I talk her through how to fix what is making her mad, I show her how to do it, then let her do it, and most of all, I show her that she can be mad and upset without acting out. 

     It’s unfair to tell a child to not be angry and upset. We tell them to not be, because we don’t like the attitude. So instead of addressing the actions, we tell them to hide the feelings. We as adults are allowed to be upset, but we know how to handle our emotions, so why should we force our children not to feel? Yes, that’s a little exaggerated, but that’s essentially what is coming across. Instead of punishing them for being mad, address the actions that come out when they feel that way. 

     My children are just that, children. Like adults, they have mood swings, good days and bad, and roller coaster emotions. Its asking a lot of my children for me to expect them to be perfect all the time, so pardon me if my child is a little “bratty” in the grocery store. I’m not sorry for my children’s behavior. I’m not sorry for them being “bad”, if that’s what you want to call it. My kids have crazy emotions that’s they’re still learning to control, so yeah, they’re not going to be quiet and “good” all the time. I’m not sorry for my children crying all the way home in the car because they’re hungry and tired. I will never, ever apologize for my child’s unruly behavior. I have good, sweet, kind, amazing kids who have bad days. It’s as simple as that. I will never apologize because I know that I am doing what I can to show them that life is basically good and that it will all be ok. So if you want to be mad when my kids are crying and throwing fits, wait until they are 5+. If they are still acting like a 2 year old then, you can be annoyed at me. Because at that point, it’s not my kids fault, it’s mine. So until I have actual brats who are old enough to be brats, don’t be annoyed, don’t be mad. 

   
 

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