Before I go anywhere else with this post, I will be completely open with you and tell you that this post is about periods. Yes, aunt flo, the rushing red river of death, that period. So, if that bothers you, then go away now, bye bye, adios, later alligator! Okay, now that I have the rest of you here, let’s get going!
I’ll start by telling you that one of the many perks of being pregnant is the wonderful 9+ months “flo” free. It’s absolute bliss, it really is. No buying tampons or pads, no disgusting breakouts (unless you’re the unlucky pregnant type, then I’m sorry), no week of cramping, and best of all, no having to constantly be wondering if last weekend’s rendezvous is going to catch up to you in a few months. But like most good things, that must come to and end, and eventually that trashy aunt of yours will come to visit once again… that whore… and you will find yourself sitting on your couch indulging in delicious chocolate, wishing you had pan dulce, writing your blog (no I am most certainly NOT referring to myself!….), and hoping that it really is your period and not just implantation bleeding! No, I’m not pregnant, so don’t get your panties all in a wad, I just think it would be quite humorous and horrible at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but I also like not having a basketball as a stomach for several months, then being in the worst pain in my life for 8 hours. The end result is amazing, but I can wait.
So, I’ll tell you why this topic was chosen. I was about to get a shower, and there it was. The dreadful pink. Aunt flo, not knocking, but putting her key (which she made herself) into the door and is quickly making her way in unannounced. You see it coming, and there’s nothing you can do but say “oh, hey there…. ya nasty… No, I did NOT miss you one bit!” Now, you might be wondering why I’m making such a big deal out of it, so let me clarify something. I have had one.. ONE period in three years! I got pregnant with Chloe in February of 2013. I had one period in September of 2014, and then got pregnant with Kimberly in early October of 2014…. It is now February 2016! So, I have gotten a little spoiled with not having to buy feminine products and such. My first thought when I saw this pink was “Oh I’m bleeding!…” and then I remembered I AM a female and that DOES typically happen once a month to normal women. Then I thought “oh… I’m bleeding… Maybe implantation? Oh I hope not…. But maybe it’s a scrape or something? no not down there.”. I had to come to terms with the fact that it’s a 99.9% chance that it’s my period, and there’s nothing I can do about it. So, here I am, sitting on my couch, slowly eating a block of Abuelita chocolate, and really wondering if the Panadaria down the street is still open so I can get some pan dulce. It’s a cruel irony that I would be trying to stay off of sugar this month, and this… THIS has to happen to ME! lol But, such is life…
So ladies, when you find yourself having your visit from your not so pretty, not so nice aunty flo, just remember, You’re not pregnant! (unless you’re trying to be, then I’m sorry), and you’re not broken! Also, it could be worse! I’ll leave that one open ended so that you can decide for yourself what could be worse lol 🙂 As for me, I’m going to go back to eating my chocolate and try to find some kind of something to stuff in my face. Bye now!