Break it down.

As a mother, I feel like I have to keep it all together all the time. Not so much my children being well behaved and such, but my emotions and image. Mothers are supposed to be strong and be able to handle stressful situations, therefore I shouldn’t be going crazy…. Right? Well, no, not right…

Moms have one of the hardest jobs I know of. I didn’t realize it until I became a mother of two, but now I understand completely. Moms have to keep their cool even when the kids are screaming at them and crying. Moms have to get dinner cooked even when the baby has to be fed and the toddler is coloring all over the walls. Moms have to be strong when their babies fall and scrape up their knees. But when do moms ever get a break from all of that? Well, they don’t. They are always on the job 24-7 and it really is a full time job. So, when do we get to let go a little?

    Last night, I talked about how stressed I felt at home for the first time to someone other than my husband. Before then, I felt like I couldn’t tell people that I got mad at my kids sometimes or that I felt like I was angry at them when they weren’t listening. I finally realized that it’s ok to break down. It’s ok that you accidentally raised your voice at your screaming toddler. It’s ok that you just shut yourself in another room until you calmed down. It’s ok! We’re not all perfect, and sometimes we snap! Granted, I’m not proud of the times I snap, and I feel terrible afterwards because half the time, she just needed some lovin, but we aren’t made of steel. It’s not easy to keep your composure while you’re on the phone and your kids are yelling in your ear to get your attention. So why is it that society puts the pressure on moms to constantly have their kids “in check” and at the same time, keep from strangling them? My word to non-parents is, if you don’t have kids, don’t talk. You have no room to talk if you have never been there. I won’t lie, I used to be one of those people who thought “man, that kid needs a spanking” while walking by a kid throwing a fit in the grocery store. I would automatically assume that it was the parent not doing their job. Well, now I know that sometimes you just can’t do much about it, and sometimes the kid is just tired. So, don’t judge until you’ve been there.

     To sum it all up, I will say it again, it’s ok to break down. We are all human and all of us need to just lose it sometimes. If you have to just sit down and cry and go a little “crazy lady”, that doesn’t mean you have failed, it means you’re doing the best you can and that you’re not giving in to everything your child wants. If you’re not a little insane at times, you’re obviously not a mom. 

Be strong – Lindsey 

Advertisements

Blank pages

I know they say that people who are pregnant get “pregnancy brain”, which is where they tend to forget things easily or absentmindedly do things like put the groceries in the cabinet instead of the fridge. This is likely because your body is focusing your blood flow to your womb mainly and less to your brain. When I was pregnant with Chloe, it wasn’t that bad. I’d put cups in the fridge and groceries in the cabinet, but nothing too severe. This last pregnancy with Kimberly, I had it worse. I would say something to my husband and he would reply and I would look at him like he was crazy and ask why he said that. Then he would have to tell me that I had just said something second ago, but I would still not remember. 

     Great thing is, it ends after you have the baby!…. Or so they say…

I have “lack of sleep brain”. This has the same symptoms as Prego brain, but way, way worse. For example, yesterday, I remembered my husbands alarm going off, then the next thing I knew, I was waking up to Kimberly waking up to nurse hours later. I rolled over to see if Chris had left yet (I wasn’t sure of the time) and I was utterly shocked to find my 2 year old passed out like a starfish in Chris’s spot! I looked around and saw evidence that she had come in and played in my room for a bit before climbing in bed and going to sleep. I hadn’t l a clue when she came in. Well, this morning, I am again awakened by Kimberly, who was letting me know she was hungry, and was again surprised to find Chloe passed out ON TOP OF ME! Now, I know that, because I’ve been tired, I sleep pretty heavily, but to not remember her climbing on top of me…. That’s pretty impressive! Or pathetic… 

     So, just because you’re not pregnant anymore does not mean that you will be back to your old self. You will never be back to your old self lol but I wouldn’t ever want to be 🙂

HAK- Lindsey 

  

Toilet paper, wipes, and deodorant.

If you had asked me two years ago where I would be now, I would have had a very different answer than where I actually ended up. I would’ve said that I would be in a home with Chris and Chloe maybe planning on getting pregnant in a few months, have my car paid off and Chris would have a new truck. I’d be comfortable financially and be able to get people in need what they want all the time. I would have told you we were happy and had all we needed. But I would have been totally wrong. 

     I went to the store today, which is payday, and had a small list of things to buy with our money. I say our money because our food comes out of food stamps and WIC. I am not proud of that either and I honestly don’t like talking about it because of the stereotype that has been placed on people who use those. They are seen as lazy bums who don’t take responsibility for their own lives. But I’m here to tell you that some of us legitimately need the help. But that is for another day. I tell you this only to give you the perspective of our finance situation. So, I had a small list of items to buy with our money and it hit me as I was getting those things out of my car. We actually had money to buy personal items today. This may not seem like a big deal, but buying personal items had been put on hold for months and when we did need something, it was never more than one item per paycheck. I just a about cried as I pulled a box of wipes (not just one small pack), a 12 pack of toilet paper, and my deodorant out of the car. I never thought I’d ever be at the point where I felt joy when buying those things, and to be honest, I’m so glad I got to this point. 

     How often do you just go and buy something without giving it a second thought? I know that before Chris lost his job, we did just that. We bought things that weren’t necessary, weren’t useful, and that we could have absolutely done without. We constantly spent way more money than we needed too, and we didn’t value our money and items.

     When we started hurting for money, it hit me pretty hard. I worried all the time and spent many days and nights crying because I wasn’t sure how we were going to pay bills. But we never had to go without the important things, and those take on a whole new meaning when it comes down to which bills you can pay. 

     Eventually, we suspended our tv (because we didn’t have enough to cancel it), we downgraded our internet only because we couldn’t afford to lose it, and we used electricity and water as needed. I started praying for God to show me why we were in this situation and he did. 

     We had gotten so comfortable having what we wanted, that we didn’t value the things we had and needed. It was a hard lesson to learn; to learn to enjoy being able to buy toilet paper. I had to understand that there are people worse off than I was, people who didn’t have a car but still needed to work, who had to not just decide what bills to pay and not pay, but on which meals they were goi to go without. I had gotten spoiled and I didn’t even know it. I’m so glad we went broke because now my children won’t grow up spoiled. They will know what it’s like to go without, and they will be ok with that. But most importantly, they will appreciate getting new things. 

     Appreciate what you have and don’t take anything for granted, you never know when it might all be gone. 

 

Beautiful moments of milk

For years, there has been contradiction between which way to feed your child is best. Some argue that bottle feeding, whether it be breast milk or formula, is better because it’s easier and more convienient. Others believe that breast is best because of the connection and health benefits. I believe you should feed your baby the best way you can, but I am more fond of breastfeeding only, and I will explain why. 

     I have bottle fed my babies, breast milk only of course, and I hated it. I cried watching my husband give my second child a bottle. I wanted him to be able to participate in the feeding process, but since my first daughter wouldn’t take a bottle, I was so used to being the only one who could do that job. So by the time my second came along, I already had that feeling of wanting to be the only source of nourishment. I honestly couldn’t watch him feed her. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but obviously it was. 

     There’s a mental and physical connection that happens during breast feeding, and it’s only one that a breast feeding mother can understand. You spend hours everyday starring down at your beautiful baby while they nurse. You imagine what they’ll be like grown up, you see their features changing day by day, and most importantly, you have a primal protective feeling towards that baby that strengthens all the time. But, not only are you gaining strong emotions for your baby,your baby is doing the same with you. They are studying your face and learning that you are the one that they get their nourishment from, that you are going to protect them and be there when they cry, and they’re realizing that you are their safe place. There’s also a special bonding that happens during nursing. Studies are showing that your immunities can be transmitted via skin contact. So, everytime I nurse my baby, not only is she getting tons of nutrients through my milk, but her immune system is getting stronger! This is why breast feeding is so important.

     When you bottle feed, it’s not as personal. Any one can feed the baby, so that unique relationship and feeling of security is not developed as strongly. Also, you don’t get that skin to skin contact that helps build the immune system and also can help calm your baby and lower its heart rate if it’s stressed. Now, if you can’t breastfeed, there are ways to still get the skin to skin contact, but if you can breastfeed, do it. 

     My favorite part of breastfeeding is the emotional aspect. There’s no better feeling than when your baby grabs your finger with her tiny hands and squeezes softly. Then, when she’s full but just wants to snuggle, she pretends to drink while looking up and melting you with that beautiful gummy smile 🙂 When she’s done, she backs off and her mouth is blushed from the heat off of my skin, and she has milk in the corners of her mouth. If you’ve never smelled a babies mouth after nursing, you’re missing out. I know it sounds gross, but don’t judge until you have a baby because it’s a delicious smell that is sweet and unique only to a baby.

     Nurse your baby when you can, and savor every moment of it because it doesn’t last near long enough. Enjoy your babies 🙂 

 

The dishes can wait.

There comes a time in your life…. Wait, let me rephrase that…. There comes a time, usually around 3:00 in the afternoon, when you are standing in your kitchen, the house is clean, dinner partially prepped, and both kids are napping, and you realize that you probably should have taken a nap as well…

If you have kids, whether it be one or five, you know the struggle. You have so much to do around the house and the only time you can get caught up is when the kids are napping. But, this is also your time to finally relax and regroup your thoughts. At the same time, if you have a baby or toddler, you were most likely up during the night to nurse or put them back to sleep, so this is your time to get caught up on sleep. So what do you do?

I’ll tell you what I do, I usually will get my front rooms cleaned up quickly, make sure I don’t need to early prep anything for dinner, then I sit down to relax for a minute before the kids get up. About 45 minutes into their nap, I start to feel the exhaustion set in, but now I have to make a choice. Do I go ahead and let myself start to doze off even though I know it will only last a few minutes if I’m lucky? Or should I just forget about it and go start another load of laundry? It’s a tough choice I’m telling you!

It’s hard because if I DO decide to nap, without a doubt, the kids will wake up early from their nap. But, If I decide not to nap, they will end up sleeping longer than usual. So it’s safe to say I never EVER get a nap… ever.

This is my regret. My ONLY regret about my life with kids is that I choose not to nap when I should have. I’m saying this with half open eyes and a pillow calling my name. So, I will leave you with one last piece of advice; sleep when you can, the dishes can wait.

  

Watch me cook, watch me eat!

I watch a lot of Food Network, and I mean a lot. I love it! There’s always something I can learn and I definitely always learn something new each time I watch it. Now, if you’ve never watched the network, it’s not just one show. It’s a bunch of different people who have their own show on that network. They each have something different to talk about and do, and they each have their own personality. 

     My favorite to watch is Pioneer Woman. She is down to earth, pleasant to watch, and just a sweet lady. She also has her own blog which she adds from throughout her show. Recently I watched her make these burgers and OMG I wanted one right away! She is so inspiring, I want to cook and eat every time I watch her. 

     Now, since I’ve been watching these shows, I imagine what I would do if I had a cooking show. I’m not super comfortable in front of a camera, but it think I could do it! I’d do a lot of down-home comfort cooking. I’d cook recipes like chicken pot pie, enchiladas, and stew and cornbread. I’d probably call the show “get down with Lindsey!” Lol! I would set it in my home so you could see what a normal persons kitchen looks like and feels like. These people you see on the show might be cooking in their kitchens, but who can honestly say they have two ovens and a 10 burner stove? Or better yet, who just HAS a block of fresh mozzarella in their fridge or a garden of fresh herbs? No, I’d have a show that teaches you how to substitute if you don’t have fresh and which things you can substitute and which items you absolutely need! It would be great! I wouldn’t have out takes, I’d show all the glitches and mess ups so you didn’t feel like an idiot when you messed up! Sure it might be an hour and a half long show but I’d make sure you were entertained lol 

     Seriously, would you watch that? Would you take the time to sit and watch a REAL cooking show? I would for sure. 

     Well, now I need to go finish my turkey and dumpling soup so, enjoy your day!

HAK- Lindsey 

Are you all you can be?

So many women chastise their husbands, kids, and even friends about not doing their best. It comes out in ways such as getting on them about not doing the dishes, wearing something unflattering, not exercising when they should, etc. I know because I’m guilty of it. I do it every single day, I just don’t realize it half the time. It’s not always a bad this to encourage someone to be the best person they can be, but how can we be the judge?

So my question to you is, are you the best you? Before we can judge what they’re doing, or not doing, where do we stand on the “perfect” scale? We all have our flaws and we all could do better somewhere. But until you know you’re doing something everyday to better yourself and make yourself a stronger, better person, don’t rag on your loved ones so much. 

I’m not saying this to put down anyone, I’m saying this for myself, and if anyone wants to listen, be my guest. I’m horrible at questioning people’s motives and showing them something they could be doing better in their lives. I don’t mean to be rude or bossy in anyway! I want them to be the best person they can be because they owe it to themselves and because I care! But, no one likes to be told that they’re doing it wrong AGAIN…

     So next time you start to get upset that your loved one forgot to empty the drier after you’ve asked them a thousand times or waited until the last minute to do the dishes, just remember, you’ve been there. You’ve had those times where you either made a poor decision or simply couldn’t do it right then. Just keep your mouth shut.