Break it down.

As a mother, I feel like I have to keep it all together all the time. Not so much my children being well behaved and such, but my emotions and image. Mothers are supposed to be strong and be able to handle stressful situations, therefore I shouldn’t be going crazy…. Right? Well, no, not right…

Moms have one of the hardest jobs I know of. I didn’t realize it until I became a mother of two, but now I understand completely. Moms have to keep their cool even when the kids are screaming at them and crying. Moms have to get dinner cooked even when the baby has to be fed and the toddler is coloring all over the walls. Moms have to be strong when their babies fall and scrape up their knees. But when do moms ever get a break from all of that? Well, they don’t. They are always on the job 24-7 and it really is a full time job. So, when do we get to let go a little?

    Last night, I talked about how stressed I felt at home for the first time to someone other than my husband. Before then, I felt like I couldn’t tell people that I got mad at my kids sometimes or that I felt like I was angry at them when they weren’t listening. I finally realized that it’s ok to break down. It’s ok that you accidentally raised your voice at your screaming toddler. It’s ok that you just shut yourself in another room until you calmed down. It’s ok! We’re not all perfect, and sometimes we snap! Granted, I’m not proud of the times I snap, and I feel terrible afterwards because half the time, she just needed some lovin, but we aren’t made of steel. It’s not easy to keep your composure while you’re on the phone and your kids are yelling in your ear to get your attention. So why is it that society puts the pressure on moms to constantly have their kids “in check” and at the same time, keep from strangling them? My word to non-parents is, if you don’t have kids, don’t talk. You have no room to talk if you have never been there. I won’t lie, I used to be one of those people who thought “man, that kid needs a spanking” while walking by a kid throwing a fit in the grocery store. I would automatically assume that it was the parent not doing their job. Well, now I know that sometimes you just can’t do much about it, and sometimes the kid is just tired. So, don’t judge until you’ve been there.

     To sum it all up, I will say it again, it’s ok to break down. We are all human and all of us need to just lose it sometimes. If you have to just sit down and cry and go a little “crazy lady”, that doesn’t mean you have failed, it means you’re doing the best you can and that you’re not giving in to everything your child wants. If you’re not a little insane at times, you’re obviously not a mom. 

Be strong – Lindsey 

Blank pages

I know they say that people who are pregnant get “pregnancy brain”, which is where they tend to forget things easily or absentmindedly do things like put the groceries in the cabinet instead of the fridge. This is likely because your body is focusing your blood flow to your womb mainly and less to your brain. When I was pregnant with Chloe, it wasn’t that bad. I’d put cups in the fridge and groceries in the cabinet, but nothing too severe. This last pregnancy with Kimberly, I had it worse. I would say something to my husband and he would reply and I would look at him like he was crazy and ask why he said that. Then he would have to tell me that I had just said something second ago, but I would still not remember. 

     Great thing is, it ends after you have the baby!…. Or so they say…

I have “lack of sleep brain”. This has the same symptoms as Prego brain, but way, way worse. For example, yesterday, I remembered my husbands alarm going off, then the next thing I knew, I was waking up to Kimberly waking up to nurse hours later. I rolled over to see if Chris had left yet (I wasn’t sure of the time) and I was utterly shocked to find my 2 year old passed out like a starfish in Chris’s spot! I looked around and saw evidence that she had come in and played in my room for a bit before climbing in bed and going to sleep. I hadn’t l a clue when she came in. Well, this morning, I am again awakened by Kimberly, who was letting me know she was hungry, and was again surprised to find Chloe passed out ON TOP OF ME! Now, I know that, because I’ve been tired, I sleep pretty heavily, but to not remember her climbing on top of me…. That’s pretty impressive! Or pathetic… 

     So, just because you’re not pregnant anymore does not mean that you will be back to your old self. You will never be back to your old self lol but I wouldn’t ever want to be 🙂

HAK- Lindsey 

  

Toilet paper, wipes, and deodorant.

If you had asked me two years ago where I would be now, I would have had a very different answer than where I actually ended up. I would’ve said that I would be in a home with Chris and Chloe maybe planning on getting pregnant in a few months, have my car paid off and Chris would have a new truck. I’d be comfortable financially and be able to get people in need what they want all the time. I would have told you we were happy and had all we needed. But I would have been totally wrong. 

     I went to the store today, which is payday, and had a small list of things to buy with our money. I say our money because our food comes out of food stamps and WIC. I am not proud of that either and I honestly don’t like talking about it because of the stereotype that has been placed on people who use those. They are seen as lazy bums who don’t take responsibility for their own lives. But I’m here to tell you that some of us legitimately need the help. But that is for another day. I tell you this only to give you the perspective of our finance situation. So, I had a small list of items to buy with our money and it hit me as I was getting those things out of my car. We actually had money to buy personal items today. This may not seem like a big deal, but buying personal items had been put on hold for months and when we did need something, it was never more than one item per paycheck. I just a about cried as I pulled a box of wipes (not just one small pack), a 12 pack of toilet paper, and my deodorant out of the car. I never thought I’d ever be at the point where I felt joy when buying those things, and to be honest, I’m so glad I got to this point. 

     How often do you just go and buy something without giving it a second thought? I know that before Chris lost his job, we did just that. We bought things that weren’t necessary, weren’t useful, and that we could have absolutely done without. We constantly spent way more money than we needed too, and we didn’t value our money and items.

     When we started hurting for money, it hit me pretty hard. I worried all the time and spent many days and nights crying because I wasn’t sure how we were going to pay bills. But we never had to go without the important things, and those take on a whole new meaning when it comes down to which bills you can pay. 

     Eventually, we suspended our tv (because we didn’t have enough to cancel it), we downgraded our internet only because we couldn’t afford to lose it, and we used electricity and water as needed. I started praying for God to show me why we were in this situation and he did. 

     We had gotten so comfortable having what we wanted, that we didn’t value the things we had and needed. It was a hard lesson to learn; to learn to enjoy being able to buy toilet paper. I had to understand that there are people worse off than I was, people who didn’t have a car but still needed to work, who had to not just decide what bills to pay and not pay, but on which meals they were goi to go without. I had gotten spoiled and I didn’t even know it. I’m so glad we went broke because now my children won’t grow up spoiled. They will know what it’s like to go without, and they will be ok with that. But most importantly, they will appreciate getting new things. 

     Appreciate what you have and don’t take anything for granted, you never know when it might all be gone. 

 

Beautiful moments of milk

For years, there has been contradiction between which way to feed your child is best. Some argue that bottle feeding, whether it be breast milk or formula, is better because it’s easier and more convienient. Others believe that breast is best because of the connection and health benefits. I believe you should feed your baby the best way you can, but I am more fond of breastfeeding only, and I will explain why. 

     I have bottle fed my babies, breast milk only of course, and I hated it. I cried watching my husband give my second child a bottle. I wanted him to be able to participate in the feeding process, but since my first daughter wouldn’t take a bottle, I was so used to being the only one who could do that job. So by the time my second came along, I already had that feeling of wanting to be the only source of nourishment. I honestly couldn’t watch him feed her. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but obviously it was. 

     There’s a mental and physical connection that happens during breast feeding, and it’s only one that a breast feeding mother can understand. You spend hours everyday starring down at your beautiful baby while they nurse. You imagine what they’ll be like grown up, you see their features changing day by day, and most importantly, you have a primal protective feeling towards that baby that strengthens all the time. But, not only are you gaining strong emotions for your baby,your baby is doing the same with you. They are studying your face and learning that you are the one that they get their nourishment from, that you are going to protect them and be there when they cry, and they’re realizing that you are their safe place. There’s also a special bonding that happens during nursing. Studies are showing that your immunities can be transmitted via skin contact. So, everytime I nurse my baby, not only is she getting tons of nutrients through my milk, but her immune system is getting stronger! This is why breast feeding is so important.

     When you bottle feed, it’s not as personal. Any one can feed the baby, so that unique relationship and feeling of security is not developed as strongly. Also, you don’t get that skin to skin contact that helps build the immune system and also can help calm your baby and lower its heart rate if it’s stressed. Now, if you can’t breastfeed, there are ways to still get the skin to skin contact, but if you can breastfeed, do it. 

     My favorite part of breastfeeding is the emotional aspect. There’s no better feeling than when your baby grabs your finger with her tiny hands and squeezes softly. Then, when she’s full but just wants to snuggle, she pretends to drink while looking up and melting you with that beautiful gummy smile 🙂 When she’s done, she backs off and her mouth is blushed from the heat off of my skin, and she has milk in the corners of her mouth. If you’ve never smelled a babies mouth after nursing, you’re missing out. I know it sounds gross, but don’t judge until you have a baby because it’s a delicious smell that is sweet and unique only to a baby.

     Nurse your baby when you can, and savor every moment of it because it doesn’t last near long enough. Enjoy your babies 🙂 

 

The dishes can wait.

There comes a time in your life…. Wait, let me rephrase that…. There comes a time, usually around 3:00 in the afternoon, when you are standing in your kitchen, the house is clean, dinner partially prepped, and both kids are napping, and you realize that you probably should have taken a nap as well…

If you have kids, whether it be one or five, you know the struggle. You have so much to do around the house and the only time you can get caught up is when the kids are napping. But, this is also your time to finally relax and regroup your thoughts. At the same time, if you have a baby or toddler, you were most likely up during the night to nurse or put them back to sleep, so this is your time to get caught up on sleep. So what do you do?

I’ll tell you what I do, I usually will get my front rooms cleaned up quickly, make sure I don’t need to early prep anything for dinner, then I sit down to relax for a minute before the kids get up. About 45 minutes into their nap, I start to feel the exhaustion set in, but now I have to make a choice. Do I go ahead and let myself start to doze off even though I know it will only last a few minutes if I’m lucky? Or should I just forget about it and go start another load of laundry? It’s a tough choice I’m telling you!

It’s hard because if I DO decide to nap, without a doubt, the kids will wake up early from their nap. But, If I decide not to nap, they will end up sleeping longer than usual. So it’s safe to say I never EVER get a nap… ever.

This is my regret. My ONLY regret about my life with kids is that I choose not to nap when I should have. I’m saying this with half open eyes and a pillow calling my name. So, I will leave you with one last piece of advice; sleep when you can, the dishes can wait.

  

Watch me cook, watch me eat!

I watch a lot of Food Network, and I mean a lot. I love it! There’s always something I can learn and I definitely always learn something new each time I watch it. Now, if you’ve never watched the network, it’s not just one show. It’s a bunch of different people who have their own show on that network. They each have something different to talk about and do, and they each have their own personality. 

     My favorite to watch is Pioneer Woman. She is down to earth, pleasant to watch, and just a sweet lady. She also has her own blog which she adds from throughout her show. Recently I watched her make these burgers and OMG I wanted one right away! She is so inspiring, I want to cook and eat every time I watch her. 

     Now, since I’ve been watching these shows, I imagine what I would do if I had a cooking show. I’m not super comfortable in front of a camera, but it think I could do it! I’d do a lot of down-home comfort cooking. I’d cook recipes like chicken pot pie, enchiladas, and stew and cornbread. I’d probably call the show “get down with Lindsey!” Lol! I would set it in my home so you could see what a normal persons kitchen looks like and feels like. These people you see on the show might be cooking in their kitchens, but who can honestly say they have two ovens and a 10 burner stove? Or better yet, who just HAS a block of fresh mozzarella in their fridge or a garden of fresh herbs? No, I’d have a show that teaches you how to substitute if you don’t have fresh and which things you can substitute and which items you absolutely need! It would be great! I wouldn’t have out takes, I’d show all the glitches and mess ups so you didn’t feel like an idiot when you messed up! Sure it might be an hour and a half long show but I’d make sure you were entertained lol 

     Seriously, would you watch that? Would you take the time to sit and watch a REAL cooking show? I would for sure. 

     Well, now I need to go finish my turkey and dumpling soup so, enjoy your day!

HAK- Lindsey 

Are you all you can be?

So many women chastise their husbands, kids, and even friends about not doing their best. It comes out in ways such as getting on them about not doing the dishes, wearing something unflattering, not exercising when they should, etc. I know because I’m guilty of it. I do it every single day, I just don’t realize it half the time. It’s not always a bad this to encourage someone to be the best person they can be, but how can we be the judge?

So my question to you is, are you the best you? Before we can judge what they’re doing, or not doing, where do we stand on the “perfect” scale? We all have our flaws and we all could do better somewhere. But until you know you’re doing something everyday to better yourself and make yourself a stronger, better person, don’t rag on your loved ones so much. 

I’m not saying this to put down anyone, I’m saying this for myself, and if anyone wants to listen, be my guest. I’m horrible at questioning people’s motives and showing them something they could be doing better in their lives. I don’t mean to be rude or bossy in anyway! I want them to be the best person they can be because they owe it to themselves and because I care! But, no one likes to be told that they’re doing it wrong AGAIN…

     So next time you start to get upset that your loved one forgot to empty the drier after you’ve asked them a thousand times or waited until the last minute to do the dishes, just remember, you’ve been there. You’ve had those times where you either made a poor decision or simply couldn’t do it right then. Just keep your mouth shut. 

 

Let’s eat!

     I’ve been at somewhat of a loss at what to post these past few days. I’ve had some things on my mind to post, but they just weren’t coming together. So I will talk about something I’m most passionate about; food.

     I love to cook, and because we’ve been pretty short on finances, we’ve been looking for places to cut charges. We don’t use a whole lot of tortillas, but I have enchiladas on my meal plan, so I thought homemade corn tortillas would be great! 

     I started out surfing Pinterest for a recipe, which I found, but after making them, I found them to be a little eggier than I wanted. So I bought a bag of maseca and used the recipe on the back. These required a tortilla pressed which I certainly didn’t have lol so what did I do? Put those suckers in between a rigged ziplock bag (I cut off the sides and the zipper part) and squished it with a baking sheet! They came out MUCH better than my first batch! I also made some flour tortillas, but I think I kneaded them too much and they came out really tough and hard.

     Another thing I’ve started making a lot of is crepes. A good friend of ours made us some once, and when he and his wife moved recently, they left us some batter. I decided to try and make some, which I had never done before, and they came out great! So I found a recipe on Pinterest lol and I’ve made them for about 3 days straight! The first day, I put cheese in them and topped them with meat spaghetti sauce. Let me just tell you….. They were DELICIOUS! Like amped up ravioli! Since then, I’ve put strawberry yogurt in them, sour cream and strawberry jam, peanut butter, bananas, and Nutella. They are yummy every way! If you want the recipe, I’ve added the link below. 

http://www.chef-in-training.com/2015/02/best-crepe-recipe/
Well, I know this hasn’t been the most exciting post, but hopefully you can make some yummy crepes!

  

A message to the wives…

I don’t usually do serious posts, but this has been eating at me for days.

The other day, a friend and I got into a conversation about how we talk about our husbands. It got me thinking about women I’ve encountered who talk negatively about their husbands. I want to say one thing. I don’t want this to offend anyone, I just want to give you something to think about the next time you start talking about the man in your life.

Don’t share your spouses downfalls. It’s as simple as that. Not only are you talking bad about the person you should be highlighting, but you’re creating a bad impression of them for that person you’re talking to. The person that you claim to love should have your respect, and they should be able to trust that you have their back. You wouldn’t appreciate it if your husband was sharing all of your bad traits to his friends. Not only would you feel betrayed, but you would probably be embarrassed. I know I would feel that way! I have run into people who, one word after the other, would shoot down their husband. They would constantly talk about how stupid he was, how he didn’t ever do what she had “told” him to do, and how she was so annoyed with him all the time… Let me just say, this is NOT the first impression I want of your husband. It instantly gives me the picture that he is a lazy loser, and if, or when, I meet him, that will be what I expect! But what you should know is that, when I do meet him and he turns out to be a great guy, YOU end up looking like a jerk. Also, if he’s such an “idiot”, why are you with him? YOU chose to be with him, so are you saying that you chose to be with such a bad guy? So, when it comes down to it, YOU’RE the stupid one, am I right? Because only an idiot would knowingly be with someone who was not a top notch guy in their eyes…. right?

Your husband, lover, best friend, and supporter, deserves much MUCH more. So please, for your sake, your husbands sake, and MY sake, don’t talk bad about your man…

I do understand that sometimes, you get into a conversation with a close friend about your husband and something he did that bothered you, but just stop yourself. Sure you might feel embarrassed that you had to catch yourself, but you will be glad you did later. Also, it helps to talk to HIM about it instead. I have found that I don’t ever feel the need to trash talk my husband if I just talk to him about it first. Sure, it might hurt him at the time to hear that he’s doing something wrong or that he’s upsetting you in some way, but I can guarantee that he would rather hear it from you than to find out that all of your friends heard about it before he even knew he had messed up. That is probably the biggest issue in a situation like this. You get mad because he didn’t do something right, and you assume that he was just being lazy. But if you talk to him first, you might realize that there may have been a big miscommunication.

I know I’ve been a little all over the place today, but this really REALLY bothers me. So, if you ever thought that you might want to share dirt about your husband, or even boyfriend, with me, just don’t. I don’t want to hear it, ever. It’s not cute, no I cannot relate to you, and no, I’m not sorry.

I guess what I’m trying to convey here is that, if you have issues with your spouse, deal with them behind closed doors and with that person. You will be doing yourself a favor, and it will probably improve your relationship.

Communication is key y’all…. Communicate…

Ok, rant over! lol

HAK – Lindsey

I wish she spoke English…

If only she spoke my language! Life would be so much easier if I knew exactly what she was saying and what she wanted. Instead, she just tells me over and over, slowly getting angry at me for not understanding. In the end, she’s crying, I’m crying, we’re all crying and it’s all because I just don’t understand. 

     My poor poor Chloe lol for the most part, I can understand what she wants, but she tends to get really overwhelmed with something and will be blubbering silly about it and I simply cannot understand “cry” talk. This just makes her cry harder, and the situation just escalates. She does try and so do I, but there are just sometimes when she gets going and it stresses me out so much! At this point, I don’t know what else to do but to just sit down with her and hug it out until she stops crying which doesn’t always work. At first, it just aggravated me because I knew that if she just stopped crying, I would be able to understand her, but God reminded me that she’s just a toddler/baby still and all she needs is love and understanding. So I needed to learn more patience and to realize that she’s crying because something is wrong, and me getting upset only makes it worse. 

     I’ve been trying to spend more time with her, and I’ve noticed a change in her attitude since I’ve been more understanding with her, and have been spending my more time with her. She’s so so sweet and it kills me when she cries.